I HAVE LOST FAITH IN LOVE

I HAD SO MUCH FAITH IN LOVE AND NOW I HAVE LOST IT. I HAVE LOVED TWO MEN, ONE EVEN MORE DEEPLY THEN I EVER DREAMED; AND IN RETURN I HAVE LOST BOTH.

NOT EVEN SURE IF IT WAS EVER RETURN AS HONORABLE AS IT WAS GIVEN, AND NOW I HAVE LOST FAITH IN LOVE.

SO MANY NIGHTS I HAVE CRIED AND CRIED, WONDERING WHY, FOR LOVE IS SUPPOSE TO BE SO BEAUTIFUL, AND TIMES OF HAPPINESS SHARED BETWEEN TWO; I AM IN LOVE ALONE

MY BEING IN LOVE HAS ONLY BOUGHT ME TEARS, HEARTACHE AND DISBELIEF. AND FOR THIS I HAVE LOST FAITH IN LOVE, TO LOVE SOMEONE SO DEEPLY AND HONESTLY, TO FIND OUT YOU WERE ALL ALONE IN LOVE. THIS HAS MADE ME LOSE FAITH IN LOVE.

UNSURE IF IT WAS LOVE, OR JUST FILLING A VOID FOR SOMEONE, SO THEY TO; WOULD NOT BE ALONE.

TO GIVE YOURSELF SO BEAUTIFULLY AND SO OPENLY, THEN TO FIND OUT LATER IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING. HOW USED AND UGLY THIS MADE ME FEEL, AND FOR THIS, I HAVE LOST FAITH IN LOVE.

TO PEPEND ON LOVE WHEN THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO DEPEND ON, AND SUDDENLY IT’S GONE; AND AT TIMES NEVER KNOWING WHY.

LEFT WITH QUESTIONS OF WHY THAT CAN BRING ENDLESS PAIN, PAIN THAT YOU MUST SOME HOW PUT AN END TO. AND THE TRUTH OF WHY LOST FOREVER, AND FOR THIS I HAVE LOST FAITH IN LOVE.

IF WE GIVE HONESTLY WITH A SENSE OF SINCERE RESPECT, AND IT IS NOT RETURNED; WHAT’S LEFT BUT LIES; FOR THIS I HAVE LOST FAITH IN LOVE.

OCTOBER 2, 1979